As you know, we’ve gotten pretty good at discussing US politics and culture and awkwardly shoe-horning neatly slipping such theorizing into the catchy, self-serving model we call “Splitsville.” By that (as you delight in our explaining every week), we mean the situation that “obtains” when a single geo-political entity harbors two or more distinct “nations.” Sometimes our Splitsvillizing has been a bit contrived; other times it writes itself and is universally hailed as profoundly true.
Well, here’s an example of the latter. Let us turn to the indispensable Paul Krugman, who today (Wednesday) writes about “The Rise of the Measles-Industrial Complex,” to which he appends the perfectly apt sub-title, “Why MAGA wants children to get sick and die.”
Really, Paul? Literally? We know MAGA to be a plucky, rag-tag band of self-anointed patriots consisting of 100% idiots. But do they actually want children to get sick and die? Okay, maybe not their own children (let’s say). But other people’s kids? When it comes to those children, is there no one in MAGA to think of the children?
It sure looks like it. He writes, “On Monday Donald Trump issued an executive order that, if implemented, would substantially reduce the number of vaccines American children receive and, in practice, how many of them are vaccinated at all.” Of course, this is nothing new. Trump’s stupidity concerning vaccines and disease prevention—as endorsed and encouraged by evil Tolkien troll and The Shame of Cheryl Hines, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.—is well-known, and goes back to his epically moronic pronouncements about COVID. You know—the ones about bleach, strong lights, and how the disease would magically disappear.
What makes this executive order (which may be illegal and/or unenforceable) noteworthy is that it arrives in the face of damning, distressing numbers. Krugman provides a chart showing that “cumulative cases [of measles] in the first 30 weeks of this year already exceeded the total for last year, which itself was the worst measles year since 1991.” This, it’s worth screaming, concerns a disease that had been virtually eradicated.
What’s that? You don’t like numbers and charts? No problem. Run, do not walk, over to Facebook, and listen to this anguished pediatric doctor talk about the rise in hospital admissions of kids with measles, pertussis (whooping cough), and God knows what else.
Krugman notes (to no one’s surprise) that:
…declining support for childhood vaccines is entirely a Republican phenomenon. Gallup has some striking charts on this. One tracks belief that it’s extremely important for parents to get their children vaccinated — a belief that has plunged over the past decade, but only among Republicans…
He provides another chart that--
…tracks belief that vaccines are more dangerous than the diseases they prevent, a false belief that has soared in popularity — but, again, only among Republicans…
Our reaction to all this is probably the same as yours: “Fucking unbelievable…these fools…assholes should be clapped in irons by Child Protective Services,” etc. It’s all part of the general right-wing campaign against knowledge, expertise, science, and every other successful, beneficial aspect of civilization, going back to the freaking Enlightenment, that has protected these MAGA choads from leprosy, scurvy, polio, starvation, whooping cough, yaws, malaria, bubonic plague, and everything short of athlete’s foot—vexations which, if you ask us, they (but not their innocent children) so richly deserve.
The question, then, is: Why? What is it that brings so large a group of Americans, in this day of modern time, to such patently imbecilic beliefs and practices? Krugman has two answers. The first—and this applies to literally everything, everywhere, from “Why is Trump still president?” to “What’s that iconic line from All the President’s Men?“ To “Where did I leave my car keys?”—is: Follow the money.
The anti-medicine, anti-science advertising is everywhere.
Peddling quack medicine is, however, a highly profitable business. And it’s a business deeply enmeshed with the right-wing media ecosystem: Ads for dietary supplements with no proven medical benefits and other forms of snake oil have for decades been a key revenue source for right-wing talk radio, conspiracy-theory websites, and more. So there is a longstanding connection between hucksters touting fake cures and hard-right politics.
And, of course, the more these ads proliferate, the more they reinforce each other’s message: Here is an alternative to establishment medicine. It’s affordable, it’s from voices you trust, and available without a prescription. No tongue-twisting name (Fershtarisis abracadabramab), no terrifying list of side-effects (“nausea, vomiting, chilblains, suicidal thoughts or actions…”), no sinister disclaimers (“Don’t take Fershtarisis if you’re allergic to the ingredients in Fershtarisis….Don’t take Fersharisis if you’re pregnant, thinking of becoming pregnant, used to be pregnant, or cannot become pregnant. No one should take Fershtarisis.”). Just a big ol’ bottle o’ pills from your pals on the podcast.
IT’S LEFTHANDERS DAY AND NATIONAL FILET MIGNON DAY AND NATIONAL PROSECCO DAY. YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.
The other explanation for the return of these diseases is cultural.
Right-wing media and their advertisers relentlessly exploit their public’s ignorance and insecurity by dismissing the experts (as being manipulative, tyrannical, and greedy), and by flattering the rubes’ don’t-tread-on-me, do-your-own-research sense of rugged individualism. Science is hard to understand, especially if you don’t read and didn’t pay too much attention in school. Agreeing with yourself and your unexamined assumptions, prodded by those podcast voices in your head, is called (by those podcast voices in your head) “common sense.”
The modern right is a deeply anti-intellectual, anti-science, anti-expertise movement that is highly receptive to conspiracy theories. And like RFK Jr during his recent interview with CNN’s Dana Bash, when confronted with scientific facts it flies into a sputtering rage. So the snake oil industry targets its marketing to the kind of person who listens to the rants of right-wing influencers, gets their news from Newsmax, and finds common cause with the neo-Nazi posters on X. By framing their false claims as “The Medical Miracles that the Elites Don’t Want You to Know About”, the snake oil hucksters create a receptive audience for conspiracy theories that malign actual medical miracles like vaccines.
When your audience believes in conspiracy theories concerning the Jews, the Freemasons, the Illuminati, the Communists, the Muslims, and the Black Hats who will be vanquished by Q (soon! Trust the Plan!), they’ll buy it retail when you denounce Big Medicine, Big Science, and Big Smarty-Pants Experts, and offer an alternative. They’ll find it entirely credible that cancer can be cured by dipping your special, proprietary form of Vitamin D capsules in a solution of apple cider vinegar, honey, and turmeric, and either mixing it into vanilla ice cream or shoving it up their ass.
We’ve been here before, alas. When, during COVID, we read about or saw videos by people defiantly refusing to vaccinate themselves or their children, we rolled our eyes so hard you could hear it across the street. But we also thought: “Okay, fine, FINE. Catch it and die, dipshit. It’s called natural selection (at its finest).” And that would be our response to today’s vaccination tsimmis (Yiddish for “kerfuffle”), except it’s not fair to the kids. And to other kids who, through no fault of their own, go to school or play tag with those kids. True, it sometimes takes some effort to feel sorry for the children of MAGAts, Republicans, and other reprehensibles. But we have to. They’re children. They’re innocent, and if we ignore that, we become as detestable as their parents.
Besides, we know the inevitable Republican pattern: Sneer at, mock, and deride a given liberal principle, policy, or value as being “woke,” weak, feminized, or whatever—until the danger or abuse it’s meant to address is visited upon them or their loved ones. It’s the world-famous phenomenon of the world-famous leopard eating your world-famous face. (There’s a not-nice joke, the punch line of which is, “See? It’s not so funny when it’s your mother, is it.” We won’t repeat it here but if you know you know.)
That’s contemptible enough, ordinarily, but it’s worse in this case. These Republican nitwits aren’t going to catch measles or pertussis, end up in the hospital and, in some cases, die because they’re already vaccinated. Their children are the ones who are going to catch measles or pertussis, end up in the hospital and, in some cases, die.
Speaking of which, go read the whole Krugman piece (we were tempted to just copy-paste the whole thing here, but we resisted the impulse because we have a moral sense). In response to RFK’s birdbrained—sorry; wormbrained—notion that vaccines cause autism, Krugman notes that there are no studies suggesting that, but adds:
…you know what does have a strong, well-documented correlation with autism? Air pollution. Childhood exposure to air pollution is clearly associated with higher rates of autism. Moreover, scientists have found a strong association between autism and pre-natal maternal exposure to particulate matter from fossil fuel pollution.
So Trump’s campaign against vaccines won’t reduce autism, but it will cause many children to suffer devastating, possibly deadly, infections [sic] diseases. Meanwhile, autism rates will rise as a result of his crusade against clean energy and in favor of dirty energy.
So there’s your weekly Splitsville, and not for the first time: One nation of proud, upright idiots (h/t Mark Twain) willing to endanger and possibly kill their children out of ignorance, resentment, and spite, and everybody else.
One question remains: When the children get sick, whom will their idiot parents blame?
Biden, probably.
QUICK! BUY THE SPLIT! NO TIME TO EXPLAIN. JUST DO IT! HURRY!
Well, that was alarming, bless Krugman's heart, but it seems likely most pediatricians will still follow their old state guidelines. Here in Illinois, Pritzker announced we'll be following the recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics, and It looks like 26 states and D.C. will not be following this CDC's new schedule either. Remarkably, Kentucky, West Virginia, and North Carolina are in this group. My kids and granddaughters live in Missouri, but they're in the 'burbs outside K.C., which is both blue and fairly educated (and offers excellent barbeque!). In any event, my son and daughter are (of course) very intelligent people AND Democrats, so no worries there. But my heart breaks for the children of those gullible MAGA parents, and the grandparents who will have to watch their grandbabies start their childhood at risk of illness and death. Thanks for the piece, guys. This is a subject close to my heart -- my Mother's twin died of measles in 1942. She was three years old.
"universally hailed as profoundly true." You guys are good ! I've gotten acclaim, but then again who hasn't? I got accolades once or maybe twice depending on how you look it. I've never been universally hailed.
You guys are badass!
If they had just had an oral vaccine for COVID it would be a different world. Maga big boys don't like ouchies and no way they admit to being too pussy to take a shot, so here we are!